The Swan-Goddess and the Underwater World

I think it's probably time I went back to using my actual name and image on Twitter. I'm getting far too cynical on there, and I feel hiding behind an avatar and silly name only adds to that. This coronation of Andy Burnham has hit me hard - I can't play along with the storyline when it's this blatant. It's a coronation, not a revolution. A simple rebranding. The pictures alone tell the tale. All the right people are far too happy.

All this talk of Keir Starmer clinging on. That he would fight Burnham in a leadership contest. Yet then, once the by-election's over, he just hands over the keys. We're told there's infighting. Some real bitter feuding going on. But does it look like that?

Perhaps on some personal level Keir Starmer is devasted and reluctant to step down, but everyone else, from the Labour politicians to the media figures who normally support Starmer, is beaming. Even Rachel Reeves can be found in these Burnham selfies - though admittedly her smile looks a little more forced.

Anyhow, back to me, the real King in the North. The one thing I don't like about using my own name and image is that it makes it easier for people who know me in real life to find me online. And it's not even embarrassment or fear of getting exposed or anything like that (I make an embarrassment of myself enough anyway - I'm not really the King in the North. More Prince Awkward of Wherever I Happen To Be). It's more that I don't like overwhelming people and making them feel weird. It's like they think they know you. They have this neat, boring box for you in their social schemata. Then you pull the rug on them and suddenly there's all this weird other stuff they have to process. People don't like that. I'm probably being a bit oversensitive, but I think it's true.

I remember overhearing someone say.. In fact, that's a lie. I'm saying 'someone' like it was no one in particular. It was actually the little swan-goddess from work. It was an, "Oh, we have that in common moment." She was saying that she didn't like seeing the undersea world; that all the fish and other creatures made her feel disturbed and uncomfortable.

I've always felt like this. When I first went to the Sea Life Centre as a child I found it very disturbing. It really freaked me out. When I think about why I think it's the overwhelming nature of it. You have a worldview. You have the world mapped out. You're content within those parameters. Then all of a sudden you're confronted with a different world. The teeming life. All these strange living things. All the eyes. All the feelings and emotions - if they have those, you're not even sure. Now you have to process this vast flood of new information. There's all this other stuff to worry about. And, of course, if you're intelligent enough to have a degree of self-awareness, the revelation instantly makes you freak out more, "If I didn't know about this what more is there in this world that I'm not aware of'?"

The swan-goddess is a bright-eyed goddess, so I sensed that similar terror of thought in her. Though that may be wishful thinking. (In my last post I was reminding myself not to appeal to the female ballot box. There are plenty of fish in the sea - perhaps they don't share my feelings and emotions after all?!)

Anyway, that's the vibe I think finding someone's alternative life can inspire. Though obviously not quite to that same degree. I don't want people finding out I'm some strange octopus-type creature. I don't like icking people out. Then again, perhaps it's all part of the metamorphosis.